Good communication is essential in any relationship. Without it, partners cannot understand each other, and the relationship will eventually fall apart. However, good communication is not always easy to achieve. In fact, many couples struggle with communication issues throughout their relationship.

If you are one of those couples, don't worry – you can improve your communication skills. All it takes is a little effort and commitment from both partners.

Why is communication so important in a relationship?

Simply put, communication is the key that unlocks all doors in a relationship. It is the glue that holds a relationship together. Good communication can help solve problems, build trust and intimacy, and create a strong bond between partners.

Conversely, poor communication can quickly lead to misunderstandings, arguments, and even breakups. When couples don't communicate effectively, they often end up feeling resentful, misunderstood, and unimportant to their partner.

Why do you struggle to communicate with your partner? 

There can be many reasons why you struggle to communicate with your partner. It could be that you have different communication styles or that you're dealing with past trauma or unresolved issues.

It could also be that you simply don't know how to express yourself, or you're afraid of conflict. Whatever the reason, it's important to identify the root of the problem so you can start working on a solution.

You can try to identify the root of the problem by asking yourself the following questions:

-Do you have difficulty expressing your needs and wants? 

-Do you find it difficult to communicate your feelings?

-Do you avoid conflict?

-Do you bottle up your emotions?

-Do you have trouble listening to your partner? 

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then there's a good chance that communication is an issue in your relationship. But don't worry – there are ways to improve communication in relationships.

What are the benefits of effective communication in relationships?

Effective communication has many benefits in a relationship. For one, it can help reduce conflict and arguments. When partners communicate effectively, they are more likely to understand each other's needs and feelings. This understanding can prevent misunderstandings and miscommunications from happening in the first place. 

In addition, effective communication can help build trust and intimacy in a relationship. Couples who communicate openly and honestly with each other are more likely to feel close to each other. This closeness can lead to a deeper level of trust and intimacy.

Finally, effective communication can also improve the overall satisfaction of both partners in the relationship. When couples feel like they are able to freely express themselves to each other, they are more likely to be happy with the relationship as a whole. 

What are some tips for improving communication in relationships?

There are many different ways to improve communication in relationships. However, some tips for effective communication are more effective than others. Here are seven of the best tips for improving communication in your relationship:

1. Make time for each other

One of the most important things you can do to improve communication in your relationship is to make time for each other. In today's busy world, it's easy for couples to get caught up in work, family, and other obligations. As a result, they may not have much time left for each other.

If you want to communicate better with your partner, you need to set aside some quality time for them. Make sure to schedule regular date nights or at least some time every week when you can focus on each other without distractions.

Popular ideas include: 

-going for a walk together

-cooking dinner together

-watching a movie together

-taking a class together 

2. Listen more than you speak 

Another important tip for improving communication is to listen more than you speak. When you're in a conversation with your partner, it's easy to get wrapped up in your own thoughts and opinions. However, it's important to take the time to really listen to what they're saying.

Try to focus on understanding their point of view instead of thinking about what you're going to say next. You may be surprised at how much better you can communicate when you actually take the time to listen to your partner.

You can improve your listening skills by:

-giving your full attention to the conversation

-avoiding distractions like your phone or TV 

-restating what your partner says to ensure you understand them correctly

It's vital to remember that communication is a two-way street. In order to communicate effectively, you need to be able to both listen and speak.

3. Avoid making assumptions 

One of the biggest communication problems in relationships is that couples often make assumptions about each other. For example, you might assume that your partner knows how you feel about something when they really don't.

Making assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. To avoid this, it's important to always communicate openly and honestly with your partner. If you're not sure about something, ask them directly instead of making an assumption.

Start by asking yourself why you're making assumptions.  If you find that you're doing it often, try to catch yourself in the act and make a conscious effort to communicate more openly with your partner. 

Look out for some of these common reasons people tend to make assumptions in relationships:

-They're worried about what their partner will think

-They don't want to seem needy or clingy

-They're afraid of conflict

4. Avoid criticising 

Another common communication mistake is to criticise your partner instead of constructively communicating with them. For example, if you're upset about something they did, it's important to express your feelings in a way that doesn't attack them personally. 

Criticism will only make your partner defensive and less likely to listen to what you have to say. Instead, try to focus on the problem itself and what you would like to see happen.

In any conversation, it's important to avoid using “you” statements. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” try “I feel like I'm not being heard.” This will help your partner feel less defensive and more open to hearing what you have to say.

As well as avoiding criticism when you're in a relationship, it's also important to avoid getting defensive when your partner expresses their opinion or feelings. It's natural to want to defend yourself when you're being criticised. However, it's important to remember that your partner is entitled to their opinion and that you don't have to agree with everything they say. 

5. Be patient

Effective communication takes time and effort. It's important to be patient with your partner and yourself as you're learning how to better communicate with each other. 

Remember that there will be times when miscommunications happen or when you don't see eye-to-eye. These moments are normal and they don't mean that you're doing something wrong. Just keep working at it and eventually, you'll start to see improvements in your communication skills.

When you find yourself becoming impatient, try doing one of the following:

-Take a step back from the conversation and take a deep breath

-Remind yourself that you're both working on your communication skills

-Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship

6. Seek professional help

If you've been trying to improve communication in your relationship but you're still having trouble, it might be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can help you and your partner learn new communication skills and deal with any underlying issues that might be affecting your ability to communicate.

And I know that for some readers, this step will sting. Many people have this underlying fear that reaching out for professional help means you've lost. That you weren't good enough to solve things yourself. The word "therapy" still holds a lot of shame for many people.

If this sounds like you, take this as your sign to release that fear. Seeking therapy for your relationship is not a sign of weakness; it's a feat of strength. It's proof you care more about the relationship than just calling it quits.

So if you feel like therapy will help your relationship, don't be afraid to go for it! 

7. Take a break 

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for your communication is to take a break from it. If you're feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, it might be helpful to step away from the situation for a little while.

Give yourself some time to calm down, and then you can try communicating again when you're both in a better frame of mind.

If you do decide to take a break, it's vital you set boundaries and rules in place for the respect of your partnership.  For example, you might agree to not communicate for an hour or two, or you might agree to only communicate through text messages.

You might also agree on signals for each other that communicate, "I need to tap out right now, I need a break, we're not communicating well, and I'm getting overwhelmed."

Whatever boundaries you set, make sure you both agree on them and stick to them.

Keep working on your relationship 

Communication is an important part of any relationship. Without it,  relationships can quickly become strained and may eventually break down. If you're having trouble communicating with your partner, don't give up hope! There are plenty of things you can do to improve communication in your relationship. With a little time and effort, you can start communicating more effectively with your partner and strengthen your relationship in the process.